Day 3: Greetings, and choosing a politeness level
The alphabet is behind you. From here on, no romanisation — you can read.
Korean makes you decide something before you can open your mouth, and English has no equivalent: how polite is this sentence? It is not a word you add, it is the ending of every verb, and there is no neutral option.
Today settles that once (section 1), gives you the greetings, and covers one thing that genuinely reverses English logic: 답 to a negative question (section 5).
1. ★★ The speech levels — and which one you are learning
Korean verbs end differently depending on who you are talking to. There are several levels; three matter.
| Level | Ending | Who |
|---|---|---|
| 반말 (casual) | 안녕 · 가 · 먹어 | close friends, younger people, family |
| ★ 해요체 (polite) | 안녕하세요 · 가요 · 먹어요 | ★ everyone else — this is your level |
| 합쇼체 (formal) | 갑니다 · 먹습니다 | announcements, news, business, the army |
### ★ Learn 해요체 and use it for everything for thirty days.
해요체 is polite enough for a stranger, a shopkeeper, a teacher and your friend's parents, and casual enough that it never sounds cold. It is what adults use with each other all day long. You cannot go wrong with it.
⚠️ Do not start with 반말. Dropping the 요 with someone you have just met is not friendly — it is the equivalent of using someone's first name after being introduced by their title, and it lands badly. Koreans switch to 반말 by agreement, and they will offer.
⚠️ And do not chase 합쇼체 either, even though you will hear it constantly in dramas and announcements. Recognise it, do not produce it. The two you need to recognise: 감사합니다 and -입니다.
★ The one thing to notice: the 요 is doing the politeness. Take it off and the sentence becomes casual. Everything you learn from Day 6 onward ends in 요, and that is not a coincidence.
2. Hello — and there is only one
| 안녕하세요 | ★ hello | any time of day — polite |
|---|---|---|
| 안녕 | hi | casual, to a friend |
| 안녕하십니까 | formal — news, army, service announcements |
★ No morning / afternoon / evening split. Unlike French, German or English, Korean uses one greeting for all twenty-four hours. One word covers what German needs four for.
Meeting someone
| 반가워요 | Nice to meet you |
|---|---|
| 반갑습니다 | (formal version) |
| 처음 뵙겠습니다 | How do you do (first meeting, formal) |
| 오랜만이에요 | Long time no see |
| 잘 지냈어요? | How have you been? |
⚠️ There is no everyday "How are you?" in Korean. 잘 지냈어요? means "have you been well since I last saw you" — it is for people you already know, not a greeting for a shopkeeper. With a stranger, 안녕하세요 is the whole exchange. Asking a cashier how they are will read as odd, not friendly.
3. ★★ Goodbye — two of them, and you must pick
### The person who is LEAVING and the person who is STAYING say different things.
| 안녕히 가세요 | "go in peace" | ★ say it to the one who is leaving |
|---|---|---|
| 안녕히 계세요 | "stay in peace" | ★ say it to the one who is staying |
Work out who is moving:
| Situation | You say |
|---|---|
| You leave a shop (the staff stay) | 안녕히 계세요 |
| A guest leaves your house (you stay) | 안녕히 가세요 |
| You both leave at the same time | 안녕히 가세요 — both of you |
| On the phone | 안녕히 계세요 |
★ The test is one question: am I the one walking away? If yes → 계세요 (you stay well). If no → 가세요 (you go well).
Casual version: 잘 가 (bye, to someone leaving) / 잘 있어 (bye, to someone staying) — and everyone also just says 안녕 or 또 봐요 (see you again).★ 또 봐요 is the safe escape if you freeze: it works in both directions.
4. Thank you, sorry, excuse me
| Register | ||
|---|---|---|
| 감사합니다 [감사함니다] | thank you | ★ the default, always safe |
| 고맙습니다 [고맙씀니다] | thank you | slightly warmer, native-root word |
| 고마워요 | thanks | polite-casual, to friends |
| 죄송합니다 [죄송함니다] | I'm sorry | ★ apologising properly |
| 미안해요 | sorry | lighter, to friends |
| 저기요 | excuse me | ★ calling someone over — a waiter, a stranger |
| 여기요 | over here | ★ calling staff to your table |
| 실례합니다 | excuse me | formal — squeezing past, interrupting |
⚠️ 저기요 / 여기요 is what you actually use in a restaurant. Korean service works by being called — you are expected to call out, and waiting quietly for someone to notice you can mean waiting a long time. It is not rude; it is the system.
★ 죄송합니다 vs 미안해요: 죄송 is for real apologies and for strangers. 미안 is for friends and small things. Using 미안해요 with a stranger after stepping on their foot is too light. Default to 죄송합니다.
And bowing
A small nod of the head accompanies almost all of the above. It is not optional-feeling and it is not deep — a quick tip forward from the neck, more the older or higher-status the other person is. Do it while you say the words, not after.
5. ★★ 네 — and the trap in negative questions
네 does far more than "yes"
| 네 | yes |
|---|---|
| 네 | I'm listening / uh-huh (said continuously while someone talks) |
| 네? | sorry, what? (rising tone) |
| 네~ | here you go / right then |
| 네, 네 | yes, yes — got it |
★ Koreans say 네 constantly while listening. Silence on your end reads as incomprehension or disagreement. Say 네 every few seconds while someone is speaking to you. It is the single easiest way to sound like you are in the conversation.
아니요 is no. 아니에요 is "that's not it / no it isn't" — and also the standard reply to a compliment.
⚠️★ And now the reversal
### Korean 네/아니요 answers whether the QUESTION is correct — not whether the fact is true.
| Question | You are not going. |
|---|---|
| 안 가요? (Aren't you going?) | 네. = "Correct — I'm not going" |
| 아니요. = "No — I am going" |
This is the exact opposite of English. English "Aren't you going?" — "No" means you are not going. Korean 네 means you are not going.
| English | Korean | |
|---|---|---|
| Aren't you going? (and you're not) | No. | 네. |
| Aren't you going? (and you are) | Yes. | 아니요. |
★ The way to hold it: Korean is answering "is your question right?" 안 가요? — yes, your question is right, I'm not going. 네.
⚠️ This causes real confusion in both directions, so when it matters, do not answer with 네 alone — repeat the verb. 안 가요? → 네, 안 가요. Unambiguous, natural, and what Koreans themselves do when the answer matters.(German solves the same problem with a third word, doch. Korean solves it by repeating the verb.)
6. Names and titles — a first note
⚠️ Korean rarely uses bare first names, and almost never uses "you".
| -씨 | 민수 씨 — polite, with a full or given name. Peers, colleagues |
|---|---|
| -님 | 선생님 (teacher), 손님 (customer) — higher respect, attached to titles |
| 선생님 | teacher — ★ also a polite way to address an adult stranger |
★ Instead of "you", Koreans use the person's name + 씨, or their title. 당신 is in the dictionary as "you" and you should not use it — it is confrontational or intimate depending on context, never neutral.
Day 10 covers this properly. For today: when you want to say "you", say their name + 씨, or say nothing at all — Korean drops subjects constantly and it is not vague.
7. Dialogue
민수: 안녕하세요!Alex: 안녕하세요. 반가워요.민수: 반갑습니다. 저는 민수예요.Alex: 저는 알렉스예요.민수: 알렉스 씨, 한국어 잘하시네요!Alex: 아니에요, 조금 해요.민수: 커피 안 마셔요?Alex: 네, 안 마셔요. 차 마셔요.민수: 아, 네. 그럼 또 봐요!Alex: 네, 안녕히 가세요!
★ Three things happened there.① 알렉스 씨 — Minsu uses the name + 씨, never "you".② 아니에요, 조금 해요 — ★ deflecting a compliment is the expected response.Saying 감사합니다 to "your Korean is good" is not wrong but sounds oddly self-satisfied;아니에요 is what people say.③ 커피 안 마셔요? — 네, 안 마셔요. The negative-question rule from §5, plus the verb repeated so nobody has to guess.And Alex says 안녕히 가세요 because Minsu is the one walking away.
8. Exercises
A. 가세요 or 계세요?
- You're leaving a café. 2. A friend leaves your flat. 3. You hang up the phone.
- You both leave the restaurant together.
B. What do you say?
- Hello, at 9pm. 2. Nice to meet you. 3. Thank you, to a shopkeeper.
- Sorry, after bumping into a stranger. 5. Calling a waiter over. 6. Long time no see.
C. ⚠️ 네 or 아니요?
- 안 가요? — (you are not going)
- 안 가요? — (you are going)
- 커피 안 마셔요? — (you don't drink coffee)
- 한국 사람이에요? — (you are not Korean)
D. Which level?
- 안녕하세요 2. 안녕 3. 안녕하십니까 4. 감사합니다 5. 고마워요
E. How do you address…
- …a colleague named 민수? 2. …your teacher? 3. …an adult stranger?
- …someone, using the word "you"?
F. ⚠️ Fix the mistake.
- (leaving a shop) 안녕히 가세요.
- (to someone you just met) 안녕.
- (a stranger says your Korean is good) 감사합니다!
- (to a stranger, having stepped on their foot) 미안해요.
- (you want to say "you") 당신은…
Answers
A. 1. 안녕히 계세요 (they stay) 2. 안녕히 가세요 3. 안녕히 계세요 4. 안녕히 가세요 — both B. 1. 안녕하세요 2. 반가워요 3. 감사합니다 4. 죄송합니다 5. 저기요 / 여기요 6. 오랜만이에요 C. 1. 네 2. 아니요 3. 네 4. 아니요 D. 1. 해요체 2. 반말 3. 합쇼체 4. 합쇼체 5. 해요체 E. 1. 민수 씨 2. 선생님 3. 선생님 4. ★ don't — use their name + 씨, or drop it entirely F. 1. 안녕히 계세요 — the staff are staying 2. 안녕하세요 — 반말 is too familiar 3. 아니에요, 조금 해요 4. 죄송합니다 — 미안해요 is too light for a stranger 5. Use their name + 씨 — 당신 is never neutral
9. Today's 10 sentences (flashcards)
- 안녕하세요. — Hello (any time)
- 반가워요. — Nice to meet you
- 오랜만이에요. — Long time no see
- 감사합니다. — Thank you
- 죄송합니다. — I'm sorry
- 저기요! — Excuse me! (calling someone)
- 네, 알겠어요. — Yes, I understand
- 아니에요. — Not at all / no it isn't (also: deflecting a compliment)
- 안녕히 가세요. — Goodbye (to the one leaving)
- 안녕히 계세요. — Goodbye (to the one staying)
10. 📲 Upload to LangNote
Upload section 3 (the goodbye pair), section 5 (네 and negative questions) and section 9 → study language Korean.
| Mission | What to do with it today |
|---|---|
| 🎧 Podcast | The dialogue — note how often 네 appears just as listening noise |
| ✍️ Dictation | 가세요 / 계세요 differ by one vowel and mean opposite things |
| 🗣 Shadowing | All ten sentences, with the small nod |
| 🎭 Role-play | Today's key mission. Meet someone, greet, exchange names, leave correctly |
| 📖 Vocab | 가세요 / 계세요 as a pair, and 저기요 |
★ Say 네 out loud while listening today, even to the podcast. It feels strange for a day and then becomes automatic — and it is the fastest thing on this page to start doing.
Tomorrow: 저는 ~예요 — introducing yourself, and your first real sentence pattern.
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