Day 4: Greetings
⚠️ 你好 is the first thing every course teaches and it is not what Chinese people say to each other. It is correct, polite and slightly formal — closer to "How do you do" than to "Hi". Between friends and colleagues it can sound like a textbook.
Today gives you 你好 and the greetings people actually use, including the one that confuses every learner: ★ 吃了吗? — "Have you eaten?" — which is a greeting, not a question about food.
1. 你好 and 您好
| 你好 nǐ hǎo | hello | ★ always correct, slightly formal |
|---|---|---|
| 您好 nín hǎo | hello (polite) | to elders, customers, officials |
| 大家好 dàjiā hǎo | hello everyone | to a group |
| 老师好 lǎoshī hǎo | hello teacher | ★ title + 好 |
★ 您 nín is 你 with 心 (heart) underneath — a respectful you. Use it for older people, customers, and anyone you're being formal with.
⚠️ 您 is far less strict than German Sie or Korean 존댓말. Getting it "wrong" is a very small mistake — 在北京 you'll hear 您 constantly; in the south much less. Use 您 with older strangers and 你 with everyone else, and you will never offend anyone.
⚠️ ★ 你好吗? is a textbook sentence. Natives rarely say it to each other. If you want to ask how someone is, say 最近怎么样? zuìjìn zěnmeyàng (how've you been lately?) — and that is for people you already know.
2. ★★ What people actually say
| ★ 吃了吗? chī le ma? | "Have you eaten?" | ★ a greeting, not a question |
|---|---|---|
| 早! zǎo! | Morning! | short, friendly |
| 嗨 / 哈喽 hāi / hālou | Hi / hello | borrowed, casual, young |
| 你去哪儿? nǐ qù nǎr? | "Where are you going?" | also just a greeting |
| 好久不见 hǎojiǔ bú jiàn | Long time no see | ★ this is a literal translation from Chinese |
★ 吃了吗 — what to do with it
It means "hi". Nobody is asking about your lunch, and nobody wants to hear about it.
| They say | You say |
|---|---|
| 吃了吗? | ★ 吃了,你呢? (Eaten — you?) |
| or 还没,你呢? (Not yet — you?) |
★ Both answers are fine, and neither leads anywhere. The exchange ends there, exactly like "How are you?" — "Good, you?" in English. Do not explain what you ate.
★ Same for 你去哪儿? — the answer is a vague 出去一下 (just heading out) or 上班 (to work). It is phatic, not nosy.
Time of day
| 早上好 zǎoshang hǎo | good morning |
|---|---|
| 下午好 xiàwǔ hǎo | good afternoon |
| 晚上好 wǎnshang hǎo | good evening |
| 晚安 wǎn'ān | good night (going to bed) |
⚠️ These are less used than in English — they feel a touch formal, like broadcast Chinese. 早! on its own is what you will hear in an office.
3. Thank you, sorry, excuse me
| 谢谢 xièxie | thank you | |
|---|---|---|
| 谢谢你 / 谢谢您 | thank you | |
| 不客气 bú kèqi | you're welcome | ★ (sandhi ② — Day 2) |
| 不用谢 bú yòng xiè | no need to thank | equally common |
| 没事 méi shì | no problem | casual |
★★ 对不起 vs 不好意思
| Use for | ||
|---|---|---|
| 对不起 duìbuqǐ | I'm sorry | ★ a real apology — you did something wrong |
| ★ 不好意思 bù hǎoyìsi | excuse me / sorry | ★ small things — bumping, interrupting, being late, asking a favour |
★ 不好意思 is used far more often than 对不起, and English speakers under-use it badly. Literally "not good meaning" → embarrassed. It covers everything from squeezing past someone to apologising for a late reply.
不好意思,请问… — Excuse me, may I ask… ★ This is how you open a question to a stranger.
⚠️ 对不起 is heavier than English "sorry". Say it for stepping on someone's foot and it is slightly dramatic — 不好意思 is the right size.
没关系 méi guānxi — it's fine, no worries. The reply to both.
4. 请问 — the polite opener
★ 请问 qǐngwèn = "may I ask" — put it in front of any question to a stranger.
| 请问,洗手间在哪儿? | Excuse me, where's the toilet? |
|---|---|
| 请问,你叫什么名字? | May I ask your name? |
| 请问,这个多少钱? | Excuse me, how much is this? |
★ 请 qǐng on its own means "please" and goes before a verb: 请坐 (please sit), 请说 (please speak), 请进 (please come in).
⚠️ Unlike English, 请 does not go at the end. 坐请 is wrong. 请 + verb, always.
5. Goodbye
| 再见 zàijiàn | goodbye | ★ literally "again see" |
|---|---|---|
| 拜拜 báibái | bye-bye | ★ borrowed, extremely common |
| 明天见 míngtiān jiàn | see you tomorrow | |
| 回头见 huítóu jiàn | see you later | |
| 一会儿见 yíhuìr jiàn | see you in a bit | |
| 慢走 màn zǒu | ★ "walk slowly" | what the host/shop says to you |
★ 慢走 is said TO the person leaving, by the person staying — a shop, a host, a restaurant. You do not say it back; you say 再见 or 拜拜.
6. What to call people
⚠️ Chinese uses titles far more than English does, and using someone's bare name can feel abrupt.
| 先生 xiānsheng | Mr, sir | 王先生 |
|---|---|---|
| 女士 nǚshì | Ms, madam | formal |
| 老师 lǎoshī | teacher | ★ also for any respected professional |
| 师傅 shīfu | ★ master | drivers, workers, repairmen — very useful |
| 服务员 fúwùyuán | waiter | ★ how you call staff |
| 帅哥 / 美女 shuàigē / měinǚ | "handsome guy" / "beautiful woman" | ★ casual, for young strangers and shop staff |
★ 服务员! is how you call a waiter — you call out, exactly as in Korea. 帅哥 and 美女 are used casually by shopkeepers and customers alike and are not flirtatious in that context.
★ Family name comes first: 王小明 — 王 is the surname, 小明 the given name.So it is 王先生, not 小明先生.
7. Dialogue
小明: 你好! 好久不见。Alex: 小明! 好久不见。你吃了吗?小明: 吃了,你呢?Alex: 还没。我一会儿去吃。小明: 最近怎么样?Alex: 挺好的。你呢?小明: 也不错。不好意思,我有点儿忙,先走了。Alex: 好的,你忙。明天见!小明: 明天见! 拜拜。 (在店里)Alex: 不好意思,请问,洗手间在哪儿?服务员: 在那边。Alex: 谢谢! — 服务员: 不客气。慢走!
★ Four things.① 吃了吗 → 吃了,你呢? — the exchange closes immediately.② 不好意思 twice — once for interrupting, once to open a question. Never 对不起.③ 请问 in front of the question to a stranger.④ The staff says 慢走; Alex does not say it back.
8. Exercises
A. 你 or 您?
- an elderly stranger 2. a classmate 3. a customer 4. a friend
B. What do you say?
- Hello, formally. 2. Hello, to a group. 3. Good morning, casually.
- Long time no see. 5. Goodbye, casually. 6. See you tomorrow.
C. ★ They say 吃了吗. You reply:
- …and you have eaten. 2. …and you haven't.
D. ⚠️ 对不起 or 不好意思?
- You bump into someone. 2. You broke their phone.
- You're interrupting to ask a question. 4. You're ten minutes late to a casual meetup.
E. Build it with 请.
- Please sit. 2. Please speak. 3. Please come in. 4. Excuse me, may I ask…
F. Who says 慢走 — the one leaving or the one staying?
G. ⚠️ Fix the mistake.
- 坐请。
- (to a friend, daily) 你好吗?
- (you stepped on someone's foot) 对不起对不起对不起!
- (they said 吃了吗) 我吃了米饭和菜,很好吃…
- 小明先生
Answers
A. 1. 您 2. 你 3. 您 4. 你 B. 1. 您好 2. 大家好 3. 早! 4. 好久不见 5. 拜拜 6. 明天见 C. 1. 吃了,你呢? 2. 还没,你呢? D. 1. 不好意思 2. 对不起 3. 不好意思 4. 不好意思 E. 1. 请坐 2. 请说 3. 请进 4. 请问 F. ★ The one staying says it to the one leaving. G. 1. 请坐 — 请 goes first 2. 最近怎么样? — 你好吗 is textbook 3. 不好意思 is the right size 4. 吃了,你呢? — it's a greeting 5. 王先生 — the title attaches to the surname
9. Today's 10 sentences (flashcards)
- 你好! Nǐ hǎo! — Hello
- 您好! Nín hǎo! — Hello (polite)
- 好久不见。 Hǎojiǔ bú jiàn. — Long time no see
- 吃了吗? Chī le ma? — (greeting) Have you eaten?
- 吃了,你呢? Chī le, nǐ ne? — Yes — you?
- 最近怎么样? Zuìjìn zěnmeyàng? — How've you been?
- 不好意思,请问… Bù hǎoyìsi, qǐngwèn… — Excuse me, may I ask…
- 谢谢! — 不客气。 Xièxie! — Bú kèqi. — Thanks! — You're welcome
- 没关系。 Méi guānxi. — It's fine
- 明天见! Míngtiān jiàn! — See you tomorrow
10. 📲 Upload to LangNote
Upload section 2 (what people actually say), section 3 (不好意思) and section 9 → study language Chinese.
| Mission | What to do with it today |
|---|---|
| 🎧 Podcast | The dialogue — greetings are fast and formulaic |
| ✍️ Dictation | 不客气 and 不好意思 — ★ both start with the sandhi'd 不 |
| 🗣 Shadowing | Today's key mission. All ten, with tones intact — do not let the question ones rise |
| 🎭 Role-play | Greet, exchange 吃了吗, ask a stranger a question with 请问, leave |
| 📖 Vocab | 不好意思 and 请问 as whole units |
★ Start using 不好意思 today, in English if you have to. It is the phrase English speakers most under-use, and the one that most makes you sound like you have actually spent time around Chinese speakers.
Tomorrow: 是 and 叫 — saying who you are, and the sentence that has no verb in it.
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